Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Comparison Trap

So I started blogging a couple of months ago and it has definitely been a lot of fun. I had no idea how much I would enjoy it! There is one thing I have had to learn though....NOT to check other peoples blogs who make me feel inadequate and like an utter failure as a mother. Not long after I started blogging, someone told me that I had to go check out "The Pioneer Woman." Maybe some of you have heard of her. Maybe some of you even check her blog. Well, I went there once. And I will never go there again. To be honest, I probably could have checked her blog before I had kids. But now that I am a mother, her blog makes me feel like a complete and utter failure. I mean seriously...WHEN DOES THIS WOMAN SLEEP?!?! She has four kids. She homeschools them. She probably hand sews all of their clothing. She is a world-class photographer. She is an amazing cook. She probably grows the food that she cooks in her amazing garden outside of her house that I am sure is spotless and perfectly decorated. Oh, and did I mention she is a writer. I am sure she just does that in her spare time. I bet she is also skinny after having FOUR kids and fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans the day she came home from the hospital. This woman is just the poster-child for making other women and mothers feel like complete failures. She kind of makes me want to throw up.

After checking her website, I fell into the trap of comparing myself to her as a mother and as a person. The result: me feeling completely depressed about myself for several days. It is what I have decided to call THE COMPARISON TRAP. I was talking with my sister about this and she gave me these words of wisdom..."COMPARISON IS CONTRARY TO CONTENTMENT." Isn't that just the truth?!?! You can ALWAYS find someone to compare yourself to. And guess what, there will always be someone who is better, who is prettier, who is more artistic, who does more fun activities with their kids, who is more patient with their kids, who is better at decorating their house, who is skinnier, who is a better Christian, who is more talented, who has a nicer house and drives a nicer car, who is funnier, who has more friends, who has a better life. The list could go on and on. So why even bother comparing? All it does is make you feel NOT content with yourself. The truth is, God made each and every one of us in HIS image and He made us just the way we are suppose to be. We all have different gifts and talents. Some of these gifts might not be things that bring outside praise and attention like "The Pioneer Woman's" many gifts. Maybe your gift is that you are encourager. That is not something that the world is going to notice and praise you for. It is silent. It is behind the scenes. But to the person you encourage, it means everything in the world.

I am trying to be CONTENT. To be thankful for who I am and the gifts that I have. To realize that I am being the best mom that I can be to my kids and that I don't need to compare myself to what another mom's best is. I challenge you guys to do the same. I bet we would ALL be alot happier if we made "COMPARISON IS CONTRARY TO CONTENTMENT" our new mom-mantra!!! What do you guys think?

9 comments:

  1. SO incredibly true & well written. In so many ways - its like highschool all over again - only we are all grown up! I guess its part of being a woman. We constantly compare ourselves to someone. Blogging & facebook do the exact same thing to me - I compare my life, marriage, career, friendships, etc to everyone else's. Thank you for your thoughts C - they are so true!

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  2. Carissa, I can't tell you how much enjoyment I get from reading your blog. You make me laugh and I think that is a gift. Laughter can do several things for a person, burn calories, strengthen ab muscles, relieve stress! Everyone has their own gifts and talents and I know you are a great mother. I always look forward to your blogs so keep writing those great stories and life adventures and challenges you face.

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  3. Wow, I think you couldn't have said it any better. It's funny because I always describe you as "Superwoman" to people. I guess you are my Pioneer Woman in a sense...lol.

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  4. I second Trina! And I second your Pioneer Woman thoughts. I have been to her site a couple of times, I drool over the recipes and then never attempt to make one. You are one of those women that lights up a room, you can't ask for more than that!
    Cori

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  5. I couldn't have said it better . . . oh wait, did that sound like a comparison?! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. No one is perfect and we need to be reminded of that once in a while. Like Trina, I too have called you Superwoman or Supermom before!

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  6. amen sister... i had to quit comparing LOOONGGG ago... it makes you miserable and no one is you... you are utterly and perfectly unique! others envy YOU too!

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  7. amen girl! i too have to be careful about reading all the popular mommy blogs. :/ i have to constantly remind myself that I am Luke's mom, because the Lord wanted me to be ... any there's no one that would be better for him. easier said than done/believed, so it does kind of become a mantra ... love it! thanks for being transparent and REAL! love!

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  8. The Pioneer Woman makes me feel the same way and I don't even have any kids!!! I can barely just get myself together most days. :)
    Micca

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  9. I'm not a mom...but comparison is an easy trap to fall into. A few weeks ago at church the preacher talked about how comparison is a tool of the enemy. I keep reminding myself that each time I compare myself... Your blog is great! I especially enjoy the pictures and music.

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