Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Day In The Life of: A Trip to Walgreen's

So it's time for another edition of "A DAY IN THE LIFE OF"....one mom's way of finding the humor out of life with three young kids rather than going crazy, which definitely would have been an option today. I only had one goal for today. To go to Walgreens and pick up my pictures so that I could scrapbook this evening. Sounds easy enough, right? WRONG! Here is how it went down....

12:45 pm - Load up all 3 kids and get them in the car to head to Walgreens.
12:47 pm - The chorus of, "CAN WE WATCH A MOVIE???" starts. I say "No." Yes, I am a mean mom and Michael calls me the "tv nazi."
12:50 pm - Arrive at Walgreens and unload.
12:52 pm - Get in Walgreens and the reality sets in...."&*!@$%&*!@#% Walgreens is one of those stores that does not have special carts. Those of us who were crazy enough, I mean BLESSED enough, to have three children in four years NEED special carts like a dying man needs a drink of water in the desert. What are special carts you say? They are the carts that have enough spaces to strap all of your children down and render them incapacitated while you are shopping. I think I am going to start a petition that it become federally mandated that ALL stores have to have special carts. It really is a matter of sanity for all us moms out there. You are about to see why....
12:53 - We'll call this, "THE SCOOBY DOO INCIDENT." We're not in the store for 15 seconds before my son spots the ugliest Scooby Doo Halloween doll I have ever seen in my life. There is no way in heck I am spending $5 on that God-awful thing. Unfortunately, Scooby Doo is his new obsession ever since he went to visit my sister and his cousins and saw his first episode. Lucky Me. It use to be Star Wars (click here to see more on his Star Wars obsession). Now it's Scooby Doo. Anyways, not buying the Scooby Doo toy didn't go over very well.
12:55 - Well call this section, "HALLOWEEN HELL." Easton's attention was quickly diverted from the ugly Scooby Doo doll when he looked to his left and saw his sister running "Chariots of Fire style" down the Halloween aisle. Seriously people....Walgreens has a Halloween stash like I have never seen in my life and there is some CREEPY stuff. Of course my kids aren't strapped in because they have NO SPECIAL CARTS so they start running through the Halloween aisle ripping things off the shelves.
Easton: Pulling the creepy voodoo witch doll that talks to you when you touch her chin off the shelf, "HEY SISTER. LOOK AT THIS. WE GOTTA BUY THIS!!!"
Emmy: Pulling various disgusting Freddy Krueger hands and goblin masks off the shelves, "OOOHHH Brudder...WOOK AT THIS ONE!!!"
ME: Dear God, WHY can't Walgreens get their act together and get SPECIAL CARTS.
Easton: "MOM! Look for a Wizard of OZ costume. PLEASE!!!" (We read the Wizard of Oz and he wants to be the tin man but we can't find the costume.)
Me: "They don't have the tin man costume, Easton. I already looked."
Easton: Pointing to the high school girl with extremely long black hair pulled back in a ponytail "Well, let's go ask that sir over there."
Me: "Easton, that is not a SIR. It's a girl" What is UP with my child and his gender confusion???
Easton: Running 90 miles per hour to the photo counter, "SIR! SIR! SIR! Do you have the Wizard of Oz costume?!?!"
Me: Yet again, WHY can't Walgreens get their act together and get SPECIAL CARTS.

1:00 pm - We'll call this part, "THE PICTURE FIASCO" - So I finally get everybody OFF the Halloween Hell aisle and over to the photo section. I tell the girl my name and she starts looking through the "M" section and acting all flustered. Then she asks me if my name could be Julie perhaps??? Umm...NO. It's Carissa. Not even close to Julie. Are you serious? She starts to play with her computer, then search through the M's and Mc's. Then she plays with her computer again. Then she picks up Julie Miller's photos again and looks at them, then looks at me, then looks at them. No lady, I'm NOT going to turn into Julie Miller. So basically, it is at this point that I realize that this whole trip was for nothing.
1:10 pm - Pack up and head home. It's naptime. Let's call it a day.
1:15 pm - We will call this part, "THE COMPUTER INCIDENT" - I get home and get everyone unloaded then go back to get my bag. WAIT! Where is my bag? I call Walgreen's...my bag, with my wallet, cell phone, and everything else is there. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Can anything else go wrong? Oh yes it can! At this point, I hear screaming. I walk in the living room to find Easton and Emmy full-on fighting over a computer. I tell them both to stop fighting and get in the car. They both run to the car. I get Cohen back in his carseat and head to the car. Screaming again. I see Emmy freaking out and trying to hit Easton and pull his hair. Turns out he had snatched her computer and taken it to the car with him. I take the computer away and give it back to Emmy.....Easton FREAKS OUT!!! I am talking irrational, uncontrollable screaming.
Me: Very calmly, "Easton. This is not acceptable behavior and it tells me that you need quiet time-rest time today." In other words, you are laying down and taking a nap today instead of getting to stay up and play.
Easton: Taking the freaking out to an all new level and screaming at me, "NO YOU! NO YOU! NO YOU!"
Me: What? I don't even know what you mean. "No YOU are going to have quiet time rest time, NOT ME!"
Me: I just choose to ignore him and kind of laugh at him at this point because what else are you going to do? It's either that or freak out myself which isn't going to help the situation.
Now Emmy decides to chime in:
Emmy: Pretend typing on her computer, "Easton has a big, bad, ugly attitude. Hmph! That's what my computer says."
Easton: Taking the freaking out to an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10...."NO! NO! NO! Your computer does not say that. Stop it. Stop it!!!"
Emmy: Pretend typing on her computer again. "Easton has ugly words and an ugly attitude. That's what it says!!!!"
Easton: Continued freaking out the whole way to Walgreens.
Cohen: Starts to cry because Easton is freaking him out and I'm sure thinking to himself, "Why me?!?! Why did I have to be brought into this crazy family???"
Me: Going to my happy place. I don't hear any of it because naptime is t minus 15 minutes.

1:30 pm - Get to Walgreens and get the bag.
1:35 pm - Get home.
2:00 pm - Everbody down for naps.
2:05 pm - Two options....pour a glass of wine or blog about it? It's only 2:00 in the afternoon, I am going to have to go with BLOGGING.


P.S. - Walgreens, if you are reading this....GET SOME FREAKING SPECIAL CARTS!!!!!!!!"
P.S.S - I'd like to give a spcial shout out to my best friend Lauren for going to Walgreens for me and picking up my pictures and hand delivering them to my door. Cue music, "That's what friends are for. In good times and BAD times...." You get the point. :)


  1. Oh, I use to go to Walgreen alot...but not since the newest addition to the family!! And last year I had the boys with me at Walgreens around Halloween time and they were both crying because they were scared of all the nasty, gorry costumes and decorations! If I can't live without it right now, or get it when the boys are in school, I am choosing to do without...and trust me, I am doing without a LOT!!!


  2. A) I HATE Walgreens... I refuse to go there. Now I double refuse because of the cart situation.
    B) That Emmy is a riot! I love the typing on the computer part.
    C) I would chose wine + blogging - makes the the words flow easier!

  3. Hilarious. And I am with Bethany, wine first, blogging second!

  4. This is why I have the best friends in the world...thank you Cori and Bethany for the WINE first, BLOG second rule. It is my new favorite!!!

  5. Oh, and Kassidy....I am glad I am not the only one who HATES Walgreens. Do you want to sign my "SPECIAL CART" petition? Let's start a "NO DISGUSTING HALLOWEEN TOYS" petition too!

  6. Simply hilarious! Thanks for giving me a good laugh today.

  7. So I can't explain how much I feel your "special carts" pain- with 4 in 4 years I find it quite the neccesity! However, I have to vent for a second and prepare you for the future. Once Cohen gets out of his infant car seat you will find a whole new dilmena. Down here at least Walmart and Target have put some sort of contraption on the front seat that blocks the leg holes and therefore you can't use it as a seat (they even have little signs saying it is no longer a seat). So now I have to carry Emerson in a sling, put Evan and Cooper in the big cart and let Tre walk- it makes for a not very quick trip but much better than Walgreens with no special carts!!! The next time I come to Tulsa we should go to Walgreens together with all 7 of our children and scare them into getting special carts!