Thursday, January 14, 2010

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs.

So have any of you guys watched "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" with your kids?  My parents took my kids to see it in the movie theatre and they loved it.  It came out on DVD recently so Michael bought it and we had a family movie night last weekend and watched it.  There is this part where the main girl in the movie is recounting her childhood trauma when she was constantly made fun of and taunted by the other kids for being a "NERD" and wearing glasses.  She says they would sing "FOUR EYES. FOUR EYES.  YOU NEED GLASSES TO SEEEEEEE!!!"  I was completely heartbroken when I saw this part of the movie.  Obviously it hit close to home because of Emmy's eye condition.  It was as if I wanted to grab the little kids who were singing that song and just choke them out.  WOW!  Anger much?!?!  It is an animated cartoon, Carissa.  You might need some serious help when you are wanting to get violent with the non-existent bully characters being portrayed in your kid's animate movie.  Obviously it brought up some pretty strong emotions for me and got me thinking about some things....

Does anyone else deal with FEAR as a parent?  Isn't it so easy to let fear seize you and just control your life?  Watching that part in the movie made me realize how much fear I have for little Emmy.  Fear that she is going to be made fun of.  Fear that she will be treated differently.  Fear that she will FEEL different.  Fear that some mean little brat is going to sing the "FOUR EYES, FOUR EYES, YOU NEED GLASSES TO SEE" song to my precious little baby and I won't be there to kick that little kid's butt for her.  FEAR. FEAR. FEAR.  But I refuse to let fear control my life. I want to live a life of hope and promise.  I want to teach my daughter to be confident in who she is and not care about what other people say about her....How can I teach her that if I am constantly living in FEAR?  I can't.  It is not possible.

So I have to choose NOT to live in fear.  I have to realize that I can't be there by her side at every moment.  I can't keep her from getting called "four eyes."  I can't keep her from feeling lost on the first day of middle school.  I can't keep her from being devastated when she realizes that girl she thought was her bestfriend really was talking bad about her to everyone at school.  I can't keep her from getting her heart broken.  I can't control everything.  I can't protect her from disappointment and hurt and pain forever.  And that is so, so scary to me right now. 

But this is what I do know....I can love her.  I can love her with a love that is so strong that it will help her feel safe and secure.  I can teach her that she is strong and beautiful and that being different is ok.  I can teach her that she is perfect just the way she is and that God made her that way.  She is perfectly imperfect.  My precious little baby girl.  I realize that in order to teach her these things, I have to be strong.  I can't let fear rule my I will not let it.  I will tell her everyday how gorgeous she is.  How kind and beautiful and intelligent she is.  And no, I will not be there the first time someone calls her "four eyes" and as my husband so matter-of-factly points out "It WILL happen, Carissa."  But my love will be there with her when it happens.  And when she comes home from that day at school, my arms will be open wide to her.  And at the end of the day, I pray that is enough.  That is all that I can do.  Pray.  And not live a life full of fear.

So tell me....who else out there struggles with fear in motherhood or am I the only psycho?  If you do deal with it, how do you overcome it?


  1. Wow Carissa. So true. So perfectly said. I have irrational fear all the time. I am afraid of what is going to happen when my kids go to school. I'm afraid of them being around children that I didn't handpick to be around them. I am afraid of what they are going to hear, what they are going to learn, what they are going to say. But, you are right. That is not how God wants us to live our fear. So, I am right there with you praying my heart out for my kids. For their safety, for their wisdom, their choices, even how they treat others. Here's to hope...and FAITH that what we want for our children will come to be!! BTW- I saw the pictures and they are beautiful! I am so glad that it is working out! Love ya, Summer M.

  2. Okay, so seriously, this hits home big time! My husbad thinks I am a little pschyco when it comes to this topic because I am constantly "worried" about something when it comes to our children. I don't know the answer to your question, but I'm willing to throw in for a group therapy session on this topic! I desperately need it!

  3. I think every mother has to fight fear when it comes to our children. I deal with fear too and I just have to repeat to myself over and over "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind."

  4. Oh Carissa-this post brought tears to my eyes. I have so many fears for my kids. I am like Courtney that I can be a little psycho because the fear can totally consume me. I mean the littlest things can completely freak me out. Peter has reminded me that "God is in control" and "God has not given us a spirit of fear." I love how articulate you are on your blog. BTW-Emmy is aboslutely beautiful and Harper (the tiny tot) will be there to beat up those kids.

  5. Ahhh, you're making me cry! Little Emmy Grace....
    When we came home upset, my mom would actually say, "Do you want me to go beat them up? I'll do it!" It would crack us up. I am so fearful for my kids for so many reasons. I think that is one reason I am freaked out about school. I just want to keep them innocent to the harshness of the world for as long as I can. Being a mom is hard!

  6. um yes, LOTS of them! but I realize that my fears for my child are MY issues and MY fears. Her life is what she is going to make of it and I will TRY to not let my fears dictate how she sees her world. You are the ultimate Mama Bear Carissa... I am scared for the kid that ever makes fun of your cubs! :)